So I worked the overnight shift last night, and because my home is currently filled with a flurry of activity, my husband booked a hotel for me to stay and rest before meeting up with him and my toddler later.
The trouble is… I haven’t even been able to get a full rest! Why? Because I feel GUILTY.
Yes, you read right.
I had this day all planned out in my head… I would sleep, and sleep and sleep. Then I would head to the mall next to the hotel and see what the Kate Spade outlet had in stock today. Then I would go to the nail shop and get a mani-pedi in bright yellow try and bring back the sunshine here in Winnipeg. It was going to be a glorious 8 hours all to myself!
But I’ve spent the last hour and half agonizing over whether or not to continue my day as planned, or head back home.
I have a husband who is 110% capable of taking care of our daughter and himself so effortlessly it’s amazing. I don’t think I would be able to do the job I do otherwise. But for some reason, I have to will myself to relax and enjoy this rare opportunity.
Why is it so hard for mothers (particularly of young children) to take time off, mentally and emotionally even when offered the chance, FREE OF CHARGE on a PLATTER OF GOLD? Even if we do, these moments are often filled with guilt and worry and incessantly “checking-in”.
Beyond finding 30 minutes a couple of times a month just to take an extended shower, how can we actually get past the obstacles that prevent us from truly enjoying a day of self-care?
I think the first step is accepting that it is normal to worry about how things will run at home when you’re away for more than a couple of hours. No you’re not neurotic, or a control-freak. It’s a perfectly NORMAL reaction.
Once we accept that, the next step is realizing that you will have nothing to give if you are completely spent. Don’t wait until the tank is empty before filling up. Rest and Restoration are good for you AND your family.
As hard as it might be, I also suggest resisting the urge to check-in. I think in this case, and this case only, the saying “don’t speak unless spoken to” may be perfectly okay to apply! Lol.
Everyone will be alright. As long as they are alive when you get home, then you’re good! So take your mind off what might be going on at home while you’re away. When you look at those perfectly manicured nails, or the gift you got yourself while at the mall… the chaos you may be coming home to will be totally worth it!
How do you push through the guilt to make sure you take care of yourself? I’d love to know so I can add it to my inventory!
Off to get my nails done now!
P.s. Mani Pedi turned out great : ) My mommy/doctor hands definitely look more presentable now. Lol.